- Bubbe's Been Run Over By A Reindeer - December, 2009, extra
"You can pray there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Zaide, we believe."
- Present tension - November, 2009
"Count these unusual, fun, not-made-up Hanukkah gift items."
- Abs of Shul - October, 2009
"If you want great abdominals and aliyahs... now you can with Abs of Shul."
- Rosh HashAARRRnah - Talk Like a Pirate Day and Rosh Hashanah collide - September, 2009, extra
"A rare confluence of the first day of Rosh Hashanah and Talk Like a Pirate Day."
- Atonal Music - September, 2009
"The season's pinnacle is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonality."
- The Week That Almost Was - August, 2009
"The following news briefs cover events that almost occurred."
- A League of Our Own - July, 2009
"As not reported before in this column, the IBL ceased play after 2007."
- By Any Other Name - June, 2009
"...the very best in traditional Rabbitic wisdom: Ask the Rabbit."
- The Original Ten - May, 2009
"In the beginning, the Big G created a girlfriend..."
- Post-Traumatic Seder Disorder - April, 2009
"...a new practice for the night Passover ends: Bedikat Matzah."
- The Karate Yid - March, 2009
"Karahti is Hebrew for 'I shouted.' And that is the noise you make... "
