Columns - 2009

    Bubbe's Been Run Over By A Reindeer

    by Doug Brook
    Southern Jewish Life columnist

    (Facebook extra, December 26, 2009)

    These are the never before seen (because they were never before written) lyrics to the new Holiday Hit, "Bubbe's Been Run Over By A Reindeer":

    Bubbe's been run over by a reindeer,
    Walking home from Chinese, Christmas Eve,
    You can pray there's no such thing as Santa,
    But as for me and Zaide, we believe.

    She'd had way too much egg foo yong,
    And snuck out the last egg roll,
    She was off her medication,
    And stumbled out during the Hawaii Bowl.

    When they found her Christmas mornin',
    Tucked behind a Yuletide Bush,
    Hoof prints formed a Star of David,
    With incriminatin' Claus marks on her tush.


    Now we're all so proud of Zaide,
    He's been makin' us all kvell,
    See him sleepin' watchin' football,
    'cause he knows that Jews just don't believe in hell.

    It's not Christmas without Bubbe,
    Or even with her 'cause we're Jews,
    And we just can't help but wonder,
    If a Christmas song about her has no use.
    (What's the use?)


    Now there's no goose on the table,
    There's still leftover chow mein,
    But it doesn't hold a candle,
    To the stringy tangley hair in Bubbe's mane.

    I've warned the whole shul and mishpacha,
    Better watch out where you step,
    They should never give a license,
    To a sleigh man with elf-made tchochkes to schlep.

    (Sing it Zaide)


    Noel Tov!

    (lyrics by Doug Brook, ripping off "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" on its 30th anniversary -

    Copyright Doug Brook. All rights reserved.