Brookwrite

The Ballad of the Final Maccabee

Judah Maccabee. Matathias. Hanukah Harry. The Hebrew Hammer. Santa. For better or worse -- and sometimes very worse -- these are the names that first come to mind about Hanukah.

Judah Maccabee, hero of Hanukah. Was it all him, though? Were his brothers just sitting around the whole time, spinning their thumbs and dreidels? (Of course, not at the same time.)

This kind of question comes up more often than never. For example, what did Naphtali do in his spare time that was so unnoteworthy in biblical proportions? What about all those guys -- and a few women -- mentioned in the numerous "begat" lineages? Surely they did something more than begatting around all day; there'd have been more descendants.

Not only are there some small gaps in the details from the Torah, there are things left out of what's taught in religious school.

For example, if someone mentioned the stage musical "Two by Two," one would rightly expect that it's a musical about Noah. One would also rightly expect that it wasn't very good or everyone would have heard of it.

(Editor's note: It was an early 1970s Danny Kaye vehicle featuring Madeline Kahn and music by Richard Rodgers. Some of the songs are pretty good, like "Why Me?" "You Have Got to Have a Rudder on the Ark," "The Gitka's Song," and "The Covenant." And it ran for over a year.)

However, if someone mentioned that a bunch of animals were put on Noah's ark seven by seven, not half that many people would believe it. Or that they were actually in the ark for over a year. Or that Noah was the first vintner. Or that Noah didn't have a maritime license.

But back to what gave the Maccabees their sting. Not much is said about Judah's brothers. Then again, how much does Eliezer want people discussing his tragic demise under an elephant that he killed?

It was an understandable thought process: "enemy leader riding an elephant, sneak up and stab the elephant." Unfortunately, the thought process stopped short of "run out from under said elephant, lest your life become truncated."

Judah wasn't the last survivor, though. In honor of the brother with a longer life and lesser publicist, here's a folk song about the final brother, Simon Maccabee.

Old man Matathias and his sons who numbered five
woke up one day and saw they had a people to revive.
At that time old Syria was influenced by the Greek,
who said one day that ritual was something Jews can't seek.
Ol' Matt up in Modiin had one of his epiphanies:
time to revolt against Antiochus Epiphanes.

Matathias didn't last long and left to each bold son
the family business which was a war to be won.
Judah wasn't oldest but he became the leader
On his every move the Jewish future would teeter.
Some of his feats heroic, others were not so cool,
grislier than what they talked about in Sunday School.

Eliezer found himself under the quick collapse
of an elephant who prompted one of his longest naps.
Judah oversaw the temple's cleanup as we're taught
omitting that the peace was short and soon was all for naught.
He ruled for just a few years until his own demise
but hired the right agent to help him immortalize.

Jonathan took over and he too was overthrown
by yet another upstart with his eyes upon the throne.
That's when the top job fell to the final Maccabee
who old Matt had called Simon, his last son there would be.
In not too short a time he was assassinated
after bringing peace to what his brothers consecrated.

Simon did not leave quietly, for peace he'd often fight
until his son-in-law sank him by dawn's early light.
Left forgotten across time, we should take the chance at least
to regard the heavy mettle of this Judah's priest.
Another lost to time who got us from there to here
regardless if you sing the miracle's there or here.

Doug Brook hereby claims the name iMaccabee for a project to be named later, and cash considerations. To read past columns, visit http://brookwrite.com/. For exclusive online content, like facebook.com/rearpewmirror.