Brookwrite

Columns - 2013

    The Oynion: Peeling Layers

    by Doug Brook
    Southern Jewish Life columnist

    Santa Rivkala, California -- Services at Temple Beth Bayit were interrupted last Saturday when police raided the sanctuary and arrested the rabbi.

    The bar mitzvah that morning was interrupted at 12:10 pm, though some congregants noted it would have still been morning if the sermon were shorter and the parents had told just a bit less of the boy's entire life story.

    Thus, when the potato kugel was just seven minutes from optimal serving temperature, three officers rushed down the aisle right after the rabbi handed the boy a filled Kiddush cup.

    Beth Bayit's longtime rabbi, Robert Rosen-Rosen, was taken into custody charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor by providing him with alcohol. The arresting officers were optimistic that the charge would stick because of the quantity of witnesses.

    Trying to dismiss the issue, the rabbi told officers that he had been doing this for years, leading officers to consider adding counts to the charge for every bar or bat mitzvah that Rosen-Rosen had officiated since arriving in Santa Rivkala. They believed the statute of limitations would not apply because Jews do not worship idols.

    The bar mitzvah boy -- whose name is being withheld since he is a minor -- did not consider it a big deal. Several congregants agreed, including the sixth grade religious school teacher who, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that the boy had been a delinquent for years.

    Upon the rabbi's arrest, synagogue board members gathered for an emergency session to discuss whether to express their support of the rabbi to the arresting officers. However, as the board continued to debate about whether they could actually hold an emergency session on the Sabbath, the officers and rabbi had already left. That debate itself was delayed until four board members arrived for the Kiddush because less than a quorum of the board was present at services.

    Rabbi Rosen-Rosen has been a mainstay of the Santa Rivkala Jewish community for over three decades. Robert Rosen first arrived fresh out of the Seminary, and soon met his bride, local sweetheart Rebecca Rosen (no prior relation), who insisted from birth that she would only marry a man who would agree to hyphenate their last name, no matter what.

    Within hours, thanks in part to the rabbi's years of work for the community, and in part to the number of congregants lined up out the precinct door to serve as his legal counsel, the charge of contributing to the delinquency of a minor was dropped.

    However, after sampling the evidence and experiencing the typical gustatory devastation, the district attorney decided to file a new charge related to serving Manischewitz: Child endangerment.

    The new charge was even more short-lived. A deputy district attorney advised the D.A. that he was given Manischewitz by Rabbi Rosen-Rosen at his own bar mitzvah, and it put him off from alcohol until age 25.

    The rabbi was released an hour before sundown, with the promise of a community service award for his efforts in deterring Jewish alcohol abuse. However, because it was still the Sabbath he had to walk over nine miles back to the synagogue and thus emulated 98.6% of his congregants in any given week by missing Havdalah.

    The following morning, the rabbi filed suit against the Santa Rivkala Police Department for violating his freedom of religion in forcing him to ride in a car and to sign his name on the Sabbath.

    The rabbi does not seek monetary compensation. In what will likely put the legal community on its ear for years to come, the damages that Rabbi Rosen-Rosen seeks are restoration of any loss he experienced of his place in The World to Come.

    The preliminary hearing is scheduled for next Saturday morning. The rabbi is excused from attending. The congregant handling his case, when asked about whether he could attend the hearing, said, "why not? I don't have anything else to do that morning."

    Doug Brook is a writer in Silicon Valley who tells his bar mitzvah students that drinking Manischewitz for the first time without grimacing is harder than learning Torah trope. And haftarah trope. And calculus. Combined. For past columns, other writings, and more, visit http://brookwrite.com/. For exclusive online content, like facebook.com/the.beholders.eye.

    Copyright Doug Brook. All rights reserved.