Brookwrite

Jewish Heritage Night and Day

by Doug Brook
Deep South Jewish Voice columnist

For the past three years, this column has been stepping out to report on Jewish Heritage Night at the San Francisco Giants. This year, that game came slightly later than the annual sports deadline, so both of you read last time about the Israel Baseball League.

To make it up to you, this column tells tales of this year's Jewish Giants event and provides bonus coverage of Jewish Heritage Day at Shea Stadium.

It would be a wonderful story of 21st century industry to say that the paper sent this column to the second game as part of a brilliantly pre-conceived plan. But brilliantly pre-conceived wouldn't be this column's style.

You see, by complete coincidence, this column was already going to the New York Mets' doomed home without knowing about the event on that Sunday, then flew west Monday and knowingly attended the San Francisco edition that night. Two days, two Jewish ballgames. Two days where restaurants in the Chinatown in each city did less business.

The game at Shea was the 17th in the countdown of games remaining before the ballpark closes. But it was appropriate because Erev Jewish Heritage Day, the night before, was number 18.

In this T.V. Age, ballparks do more little things to attract crowds, and at least briefly it seemed like stepping into another world.

The scoreboard listed all players' names in Hebrew, and some transliterations were stranger than you might think. The Hispanic names would seemingly be the most absurd, but the strangest transliteration award went to Ryan Church.

The Parparim (Butterflies) Ensemble from the Israeli Dance Institute danced before the game, and Hebrew songs were performed by an a cappella group called 613.

613 brings a Boy Band sound to traditional Jewish music. Think Altar Boyz in Hebrew. Don't know Altar Boyz? It's a hit off-Broadway musical about a Christian boy band that tours to save souls. Its five singers are Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan, and Abraham.

This column is inspired to now write Altar Oyz, with singers including Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moises, and Chris. Having gone to college with one of the Altar Boyz writers, I'm certain it will never be allowed.

The game did not go well for the second consecutive day, breaking us in two.

The Mets' last chance to win in the ninth depended on Ryan Church, which on this day doomed it to be lost in extra innings. This same Church, playing for Washington last year, was also held in check for the San Francisco event. Coincidence?

Also like last year, Cain pitched for San Francisco's game once again. Unlike last year, while Cain was able, the team was not on target.

Outside the ballpark one of the parking lots hosted a pre-game party with Hebrew Nationals and He'Brew, the beer of real men everywhere that it's actually sold. In front of the main gate, a Chabad Rock group called The Ferris Wheels played music you'd never expect to come out of long black coats and longer grey beards.

This year's giveaway was a Hebrew Giants scarf. At first this seemed like a cheap, non-controversial choice after last year's brilliant Rally Rabbi (a real person, the head of San Francisco Chabad) bobblehead inspired several ignoramuses to cry anti-Semitism, treating the baubles like a cancer.

However, as the game progressed, the fan-suggested scarf's motivation became obvious. During a video montage of "So You Think You Can Hora" several men wore the scarves like a tallis, and a woman had her hair wrapped in one like a sheitl. This was followed by a clip of a slow song from Fiddler.

The scoreboard reminded of several Jewish inventions, like blue jeans and the appendectomy, and three of the greatest 20th century thinkers: Einstein, Freud, and Marx. It was unclear if they meant Groucho or Harpo.

The game itself went poorly, as the rebuilding Giants played more like Goliath than David. After this three day stretch of losses on both coasts, ballparks are asking this columnist to not enter unless he's there for the visiting team.

But as a harbinger of things to come, in New York, Citi Field loomed just outside, readying to open next spring.

And in San Francisco there were several promotions for the 2009 Maccabi Games, to be hosted under the Golden Gate. Hopefully this column would be allowed to attend; either way the Jews will win.

Doug Brook is a writer in Silicon Valley who is 2-2 lifetime at Shea Stadium. For more information, past columns, other writings, and more, visit http://brookwrite.com/.