No Stone Unturned - June, 2005 (2)
"Jews have been around since the Stone Age... led by Gurb, the Caveman Rabbi."
Congraduations - June, 2005
"I stand before you with valor to dictate..."
Episode IV: A New Trope - May, 2005 (2)
"'A young rabbi named Dark Lainer, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, betrayed and murdered your father's music.'"
Turn down the stereotype - May, 2005
"We are here to explore the many, many, many common stereotypes against Jews."
ManiSchoveThiz - April, 2005
"Rogov's Guide rates over one thousand Israeli wines. This begs the question, 'there's over one thousand Israeli wines?'"
A Purrim Tail - March, 2005 (2)
"Achashverosh ruled over all of the Persians... He reigned like cats, not dogs."
Tzom Improvement - March, 2005
"'Does everybody know what time it is?' 'Shul Time!'"
State of the Rite - February, 2005
"Today I become a bar mitzvah. No, I don't become the actual ceremony itself..."
Senior tour - January, 2005 (2)
"We are gathered here today to pay respect to a large and often under-appreciated segment of our population."
Splitting hares - January, 2005
"By popular lack of complaint, this column returns a special feature: Ask the Rabbit."