- The royal flush - December, 1999
"'Tis the season to eat latkes,
Fa la la la la they're not matzah."
- The indefensible foe - November, 1999
"More gruesome than arsonists or gunmen, what closed a temple? Ground squirrels."
- Pray for me - October, 1999
"The next time you walk past a Southern Baptist, he might be praying for you."
- Well, Heck: The Next Incarnation - September, 1999
"The South needs good press. Judaism needs good press. UAB needs a good full-court press."
- The cutting edge - August, 1999
"California was always enlightened. We'll avert our eyes from the three burning synagogues."
- Conversion rates - July, 1999
"Dear Superman, Congratulations on your recent conversion to Judaism."
- The observation deck - April, 1999
"The management apologizes for an error in last month's column on the Passover Seder."
- March Madness - March, 1999
"The never before seen, real reasons for each part of the Passover Seder."
- Burning bridges - February, 1999
"A partial, inexpensive, Jewish solution to the Y2K problem."
- How to Succeed... - January, 1999
"How to succeed... in teaching, in kashrut, in having a clear image..."
